Some college work (I’m actually proud of)

I don’t normally post my college work here because, to be honest, I am normally not that happy with it. The projects we get are often less than inspiring and the critique from my tutors can be out-dated and confusing. Sometimes it’s not fun at all.
I have been struggling with a lack of confidence in myself and my work a lot this year but as I rang out 2012 and welcomed 2013 I vowed to myself that I would quietly and secretly begin to quell the voices that tell me I am not good enough. To make decisions and stand by them. Acting more confidently will make me feel for confident, yeah? I hope so!

 Thank you so much to my lovely friends and beautiful boyfriend for posing for these pictures (and many more…seriously expect a few posts and portraits from these rolls!). I hope Trócaire like them as much as I do aaaaand they end up everywhere, ha!

Happy weekend friends! xo




PS I am sitting on my sofa in angora socks watching SNOW (well, sleet) tumbling and blustering about the garden. Eeeep! 

A black and white Christmas

Richard and I always give each other our presents on Christmas Eve. And it aaalways makes me nervous. Nervous that his presents will be better than mine or vice versa. I don’t have a very good history of reacting well to things I don’t like (or even things that I do) and I always feel the pressure to say or act the right way. I definitely much prefer giving than getting.

All that said R totally outdid himself this year, I was deeeee-lighted with my presents. He knows me well that boy.

{I bought Richard the XX on vinyl, a shirt and some other bits & pieces}

{yes that is a Denise Nestor print and yes I was VERY excited!!}

On Christmas morning after stockings and cereal we went to church. After a proper breakfast we gave each other our presents and opened them. I love Christmas. 

The turkey and ham took forever (and as vegetarians my mum, sister and I grew somewhat impatient!) but when we finally sat down to eat at half past 7 that evening it was so worth it.

Then we all crashed out. Ha!

I hope you had a merry Christmas and that your New Year is off to a good start. xo

Photobooth

Before Christmas my class went out for dinner. It was delicious. And then we went for drinks. It was lovely. There was a photobooth. It was AMAZING.

I am like a silly school girl sap for photobooths like this. Richard and I found one in Berlin and took some of my favourite photos of us together (there aren’t many I must admit) and the photos from Pyg were equally beautiful. I think the lack of a photographer coupled with the inky black and white tones make for deeply flattering and timeless shots. I am in love, enough said.

That’s Lauri in the booth and himself and Niamh’s strip on the right.

xo 

Film & Friends // 7

This week’s column is a little different… these photos are by Amy Benson. Amy & I participated in a photoswap run by Rhianne. She shot a roll of film and I shot a roll of film and then we sent them to each other to develop. Loads of other people do it too and then you can all look at the photos in the group pool on flickr.

Aren’t they beautiful? I love the old signage in the one on the left. Be sure to have a look at the rest on Amy’s flickr. I will post my photos from the swap next week.


As Always if you shoot film and would like to be featured give me a shout! meldonc at gmail dot com. 
I’d LOVE to see your photos and hear a bit about why you choose to use film. xo

Polaroid

Polaroids are kind of strange…I consider them the closest the digital photos that I take, but only because they are virtually instantaneous. They are the most unpredictable of photos and sometimes the image refuses to appear at all. But they are also magical. There is something unbelievable (for me anyway) about shooting a photo and then being able to see it and hold it moments later. I love the physicality of it all. I have three packs of film waiting to be used up at my (90’s themed) 21st birthday party.

From top left, clockwise: Eoin, Lily, Lily, Richard & Valerie (the car).

PS The film I used here is Impossible Project 600 Silver Shade film with a black frame

wow

Check this out!!! A picture taken by my lovely Richard on Dazed and Confused’s website!!!! Click here to read the full article about the amazing Girls on Film zine. (I submitted his photo without him knowing so he was totally surprised yesterday when I showed him…SO proud!)

the photo is from our trip to Berlin…truth be told it was at lunch when I felt super sick and I was probably rolling my eyes at him taking the photo. Now I’m glad he did! 

logic

My first day of summer consisted of pyjamas and lots of television. I was hungover and exhausted.

The second day was better (but cold). I sat less and moved a little more. Had a driving lesson, met a friend for coffee, did the shopping with my mum…nothing special but sometimes mundane is nice. Especially when there’s no project or assignment hanging over your head.

The third was even better, it involved: a drive, a hike, more driving, more driving, cooking and then the most delicious roast dinner. Driving is still a novelty (when it’s not frustrating/stressful/difficult/scary anyway).

Today, however, was ace. The sun shone. Bright and high and, brace yourselves, warm. I spend two and a half hours weeding the garden…which sounds awful, but was totally lovely (despite the nettle stings and scratches). This week I am going to plant vegetables…lots and lots of vegetables and I can’t wait! Then I went to work which wasn’t so fun but I got to spend a lot of it outside so I won’t complain. Nice weather does something magical doesn’t it? It was as if there was a good mood in the air. Rumour has it it’s going to last all week!

By this logic, tomorrow will be even better won’t it?



photo of the Dublin/Wicklow coastline by Richard

finished

Tomorrow is my last day of college for this year. I cannot possibly convey to you how fast this year has gone. It feels like we have just sat down at our shiny white desks, both nervous and excited.

New friends were made and old friends grew closer. We had project after project and a lot of the time I wanted to give up. We did typography,  illustration, grids and letterpress. And I fell in love with photography all over again. I cried and laughed and felt simultaneously like I couldn’t continue and I couldn’t do anything else. I will miss coming in to chat to the girls, bitch about the tutors, and eat lunch in the cold canteen. I will miss walking through the liberties, seeing the children running late to school and the lady who feeds the pigeons out her front door, watching little girls chit chat and share sweets on the stoop in the afternoon while the boys kick ball across the terraces. I will miss the people watching.

The summer is vast and expansive, it is opening up before my eyes. It half terrifies me, half excites me this vastness. I wonder what I will do and then I remember all of the plans I have. Plans are good yes. But I am trying to remind myself that no plans are ok too. Having no plans means I can do nothing. Doing nothing is good too. There will be hopefully different people to watch, different places to photograph and a grand adventure I will remember for the rest of my life. Every day is an adventure, or at least it can be. This Summer I will finish learning to drive, travel (hopefully) to a new continent, mind the cutest of babies and drink lots of cold drinks on warm days (double hopefully). There will be barbeques, road-trips, drinks parties, dog walking, barefoot in the grass, candles and lots of love. I can’t wait to camp again, to lie under the stars and realise all over again how small I really am.

Most of all I am looking forward to walking and talking with those two up there. There’s not much sweeter than that.

today! today!

Happy Birthday to my most favourite boy in the whole wide world. You are the BEST!
I hope 21 is a great year. I love you, xoxo

Age

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

— Relevant magazine

(I am Blessed via Meg)

Killiney Hill

Last weekend, well actually last last weekend, the weather was lovely. Richard & I walked over 10 kilometers just because it was far too nice to be inside. Lily did not complain—as you can imagine! 

We (ahem, I) couldn’t help ourselves and had a bit of a mufasa moment with Ellie up Killiney Hill…mainly because she wouldn’t stay still for the camera.

Photo by R.

Berlin/4

It sometimes can feel like the holiday ends once you check out of the hotel. Even though we had hours to spare and our bags were locked away I couldn’t shake the feeling like we were just waiting around to get the S-Bhan back to the airport on Friday. We set out nonetheless, not wanted to waste time being bored, and headed for the Jewish Museum. After that rather confusing and disorientating experience—the museum has an interesting ‘pathway’ to follow—we headed back towards familiar territory on foot. After stumbling upon check-point Charlie I convinced Richard to have a currywurste because well, we were in Germany and we might as well act touristy if we’re hanging around the most touristy part. It looks gross, the chips were ok and he somehow ate it all.

Another thing we happened upon by chance was this automat. I was sooo excited and spent ages wondering if we’d actually find one after I saw this post. Then as we were walking back to the hotel to collect our bags one just appeared out of the blue. It’s €2 for a strip and we did two ’cause as soon as you put that money in it takes the photo…which we were not expecting. They’re total duds but also hilarious and lovely.

Thank you Berlin for being so kind. We had such a great time. 

(and thank you to anyone who actually read these posts…I wanted to have a proper sort of diary written for myself, I hope they didn’t bore you to tears!)

Berlin/3

After missing our hotel breakfast we went and bought some crazy amazing but probably really bad for you pastries next door and set out for the day. It was no longer raining, thankfully, but the cold had yet to subside. We headed further out towards the suburbs where google told us the junky camera shops and vintage bargains were to be had. We were not disappointed.

This camera place was crazy, old man shop-keeper included, and Richard bought a polariser for cheap and I played with the old cameras and marvelled at all the old photographs and treasures to be had. We left, with promises to return later, which in the end we didn’t get a chance to do. We continued our hunt and found some pretty amazing vintage finds.

 Including this grey pure wool coat! Which fit like a glove and was certainly warmer than my little tweedy jacket. We went back to the hotel for a bit after lunch and then headed in search of a polaroid—which I was determined to come home with—which we found in a lovely little shop in a pretty nasty district. We went to a lovely little Italian restaurant, which was bursting with Germans drinking and eating and laughing, for our last meal.

(our waitress liked the look of my camera so we persuaded her to take this only photo of two of us!)

All photos of me by Richard, as before.

Berlin/2

On Wednesday morning it was raining when we woke up. The rain persisted and so did we, after an-all-we-could-stuff-ourselves-with breakfast we headed out in search of umbrellas and adventure. We climbed to the top of the Berliner Dom—it was wet and slippy and the stairs were small and windy. My legs turned to jelly and my heart began to pump faster. I wanted to get down, which we did…eventually. It was beautiful though, from the inside, which didn’t feel as high.
(second last photo credit: Richard Barrett)

Then we walked and walked and walked, taking in the Brandenburg Gate, Holocaust Memorial, The Guggenheim Museum—we saw this exhibit and it was fantastic—The Reichstag and sections of the Berlin Wall until we gave in to hunger and went in search of food. The Pizza place we found had no seats, just high benches that we, along with other hungry folk, stood at and casually wolfed our food without talking. It was delicious.

It was cold, which is nothing we weren’t expecting given our friend’s warning. Just how cold it could be was something I was unprepared for. I had to buy a new cardigan in H&M to wear over the jumper I was already wearing and it was still freezing. Even Richard was cold. We walked and keep warm and eventually gave in and spent a while going in and out of shops, keeping warm and eating chocolate and trying on ridiculously priced shoes.
After toasty hot showers at our hotel we went out to a cool Japanese restaurant just five minutes from our accommodation. It had thousands of, what appeared to be, chopsticks hanging in a cloud like formation from the ceiling and the wine was delicious. Richard had ‘the best meal of his life’ while mine was lovely until a dish of barely cooked cold prawns arrived…which needless to say I did not eat.

Altogether it was a great day. (Just cold!)

(All photos of me by Richard)

Berlin/1

We arrived into a tiny airport, with just one luggage reel and fairground-like booths where our passports were checked. After a short walk we descended underground to find a train, where we met a friend, by chance, returning to the airport having spent the weekend in Berlin. Chance is nice. She warned us of the cold, I laughed it off thinking of the little jacket I had brought. Accidentally forgetting to get off the S-Bhan meant we stayed on the train a lot longer than expected, mesmerised by the hoards of shanty-like tenement buildings that look as if they had grown out of the ground, swings, slides and line after line of washing hung.
We arrived at the hotel exhausted and hungry. After refueling on giant sandwiches we headed out to explore and get our bearings. The day was mild and we walked up and down streets figuring out where we were, where we’d been and where we would go. After a spell we returned to the hotel and collapsed into fits of sleep. I woke up disorientated, unsure of where we were, and suddenly starving. We enjoyed a proper German meal that first night—shnitzle for him, some German stuffed pasta thing for me and strudel for dessert; it was delicious—sitting across the table from my love, I was blissfully happy.

Day two tomorrow. x

The Hellfire Club

Bray

A few weeks ago (when I got these negatives, actually) we went out to see my granny on mothers day. My mum and her mum walked along the promenade but myself and Lily ran along the beach…and we saw some dudes shaving each others heads on the stones. Random.
The weather this week has been crazy amazing, almost 20 degrees which is nuts for March. So needless to say I’ve been spending all my time outside, eating ice creams and taking photos. Lovely.

Dublin/3

This building is the shizz. It’s here and I walk past it almost every day.

See all the other Dublin, a love letter posts here.

Bank Holiday Monday at the Hell Fire club.

God I love these two.

sisters

On Sunday we went to visit my granny (’cause it was mother’s day, and you know, she is my mother’s mother). When I called in to pick her up for our walk she handed me a box of negatives that ‘my uncle thought I’d like’ and then told me to ‘throw them out if they weren’t any use’. She’s a hoot my granny. The negatives were taken by my great granddad and neither myself nor my mum knew who the majority of them were of. Except this one… My aunt Trish is on the left, my mum Monica in the middle and my auntie Mary on the right with their aunt Kathleen behind them. Isn’t is amazing? Don’t I knew immediately that it was my mum in the middle because she looks just like me!
Their aunt made them those dresses and Monica was saying that their mother always insisted on ‘good shoes’. It’s so strange to imagine the photo being taken.