The Bull Wall

Last Saturday I wanted to walk down the Bull Wall. I don’t know why, but it’s one of those places we used to go as a family when my brother and I were small and I always remember it being fun then so I thought it would be fun now. I like to do new things, or old things that feel new, it keeps things interesting. So we got up mildly early for a Saturday morning and packed up the dog and some tortillas in a plastic bag and my camera and we left.
We arrived and it was raining. And the walk was a lot shorter and narrower and different to what I expected…probably owing to the fact that the last time I had been there I was a lot shorter and my legs and their ability to carry me places were a lot, lot shorter. But we were there so we let the dog drag us down the wall and we argued.
It was raining, my coat only had two buttons, the dog was pulling, we couldn’t let her off the lead, my hat wouldn’t stay on my head and Richard wanted a smoke so really there was nothing else to do but argue.

There’s this funny thing about arguing with people you love though. The very fact that you love the person with whom you are arguing with can either dispel or perpetuate the argument.
You can set your cares aside and love the person. Get over it, just like that. Easier said than done I hear you harp. Yes. Easier said than done.

Or you can get so angry and so mad because this person is not living up to your expectations, up to your beautiful, untainted portrait of them. They ruined the image and you are going to hate them for it.

The third option is to find yourself mad at them and loving them all at the same time in this strange mixed up pot of anger and admiration. They are the ones you want to cast your frustrations upon…but they also happen to be the root where said frustrations stem from.

So we stopped being pissy and got over it.

The rest of the day was good, as most things are with my love by my side. 

The Gap

‘Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.’ —Ira Glass

I think I probably need to read this every day. And then read it again. And again.

Photo of Hannah & Johnny. 

Age

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

— Relevant magazine

(I am Blessed via Meg)